Body Issues: Conversations My Body Has

"We really should eat something before we go out," one half of the reasonable brain said, as we set out on our evening walk. "I know it's early, and by the time we get back it'll be dinner, but we really should eat." We'll call it Less-Conscious Brain, or LCB for short.

"We'll be fine," said the other half of the reasonable brain, the one actually in charge. We'll call it Conscious Brain, or CB for short.

"Peckish," said the stomach. 

"But not too hungry?" CB asked.

"Not yet," the stomach replied.

"Good, off we go then."

About 200 meters into running, everybody was complaining. 

"It's too hot in this sweater!" said the shoulders.

"I can't handle the burning!" cried the chest.

"Our knee pistons are knocking!" the legs complained. "It's been too long since we ran."

"We ran just a month ago," CB groused, but slowed down and we walked. We meant to hit Sanctuary Park before turning back. A little before we got there, we felt a drop of rain.

"Oh, look it's raining now. Now can we go home and eat?"

"Okay, fine."

We walked home in general silence, mostly contemplating tomorrow. When we got home, the complaints started again.

"Hungry!" the stomach piped up.

"We need to change," CB said, shrugging off the jacket. We sat at the computer, played a bit of Echo Bazaar, tweeted our return home, listened to a few more songs on the Walkman.

"This is ridiculous, we really need to eat. We just used precious calories!"

"And this is supposed to mean anything when we've been sitting on our ass all day?"

"Don't give me that," LCB sniffed. "You're the one that ignores us when we need to do stuff. Like finish editing that essay. Or laundry. Or call the telephone company."

"The food can still wait."

"Still! Hungry!" the stomach cried.

"Hang on, hang on. Do we even know what to eat yet?" CB said.

"What is there to decide on? There's corned beef and rice. That's what we've been eating the whole week."

"There's also a couple of eggs left. Shall we have fried rice? How about fried rice? That would be fun, wouldn't it?"

"Hungry!" the stomach roared, and released a bit of gastric acid to make its point.

"Okay!" CB wasn't stupid; it liked to ignore the stomach but not that much. "Okay, fine, we'll cut up some luncheon meat."

"One day, we'll get on some drugs that'll make you actually listen to us and do what we want rather than reason your way through what we don't want," LCB complained. "One day."

"Yes. But you know... that one day comes only when I feel like we want to."

"Yeah well, fuck you too."