A Probability of Being

To my esteemed peers, the children of Victoriana, Whilst I deeply appreciate how the Industrial Revolution has greatly affected your knowledge of lands beyond your little island on the western side of the European continent, I must object to your calling of the lands of my origins as "the Mysterious Orient". To be perfectly frank, I have never understood this term as being applicable once your empire began to colonize the Orient. In fact, it was never truly applicable as your various East India Companies (in the plural, for the British East India Company was never the only East India Company in existance) had been trading with us in the Orient since the 1700s - earlier, even. I can hardly fathom how we were so mysterious to you if you had already been visiting our lands since then. However, I can forgive this slight - if we were still travelling between continents by great ships and using paper for communiques. In this day and age, with the advent of the Internet with which w...

A while back on my post "Colourblind", I got a very interesting comment: 1) What do you think defines a chinese or any other race? If one was American-Chinese but disconnected from Chinese culture, does that make the person more chinese, less chinese or not chinese at all? How does such a person identify himself? Therein lies the crux of the problem. Labeling, stereotyping and then racism. We need to start appreciating the differences at the individual level not by accepting human constructs of what is "chinese". Now, I appreciate where Keisha is coming from here. Like many others, I resisted the idea of labelling, because the whole thing about race is that it divvies up people. In my archives, there is a series called "Quintessentially Chinese?" in which I ask her question: what defines a Chinese person? As for the question of whether an Asian-American is more or less Asian than an Asian sourcelander (thanks, oyceter for the term !), that is really up to ...

I first heard about Secret Identities from angry asian man, who is made of win. I tracked down a couple of the previews on Youtube where comic panels had been voiced over. The whole list can be found here. In fact, Secret Identities was so well-marketed that even though I pre-ordered it through a local bookstore, I couldn't get my grubby little mitts on it until a month after it had come out, because the shippers kept running out of copies! To me, it was a very good sign, and I was hopeful that it was worth the wait. Was it? Oh yes. Every page was worth the whole month. When I first heard of the idea - an Asian-American Superhero Anthology - I was intrigued. I don't really like how these things center around America. I understand that the Asian diaspora reaches across and is most acknowledged in America, but Asians don't only live in America. There is a piece which is set in the Phillipines, with a set of siblings who share the same father. I have a strong feeling that t...

So this is not going to be a very good metaphor, but it is a decent metaphor from my standpoint anyway. It combines two concepts, each of which I encountered in different places. But anyway. We live in the same neighbourhood. For as long as our families have lived in this neighbourhood, your family generally is very... protective of the big house, the larger garden, the fruit tree. We regularly regale each other with stories of how the patriarch of your house would shoot people who got too close that he didn't invite or just plain didn't like. The shotgun the patriarchs have used through time sits grandly above the mantle opposite the front door for easy reach. But now, you are having an open house. You are inviting as many people from our neighbourhood as possible to just come in, to the beer garden you've set up. To show your good faith, you leave the front door wide open so anybody can just come in. I must admit, you are not a good host, because when we come to the door,...

Two thousand years ago, the subjugation of women was just about complete. The patriarchal religions were quite firmly entrenched. There were a few women rebels, but on the whole, women... stopped having power over their own lives. Women no longer made history as a collective. Women were erased, too. Two hundred years ago, women started writing again. This was only a few women, and in response to troubles usually caused and perpetuated by a few men which affected everyone. But two hundred years ago, women began writing and began to find their voices again. Two generations ago, we finally found some semblance of equality between men and women, at least, in certain places. We could go to school and we could work. It was not true equality. It still isn't true equality. But it resembles it, and gives us a foundation to build on. It's been a hard journey, but now we can speak about -isms and acknowledge the problems within society, even though there are hateful screeds trying to sile...

So my dad said the other day, "you could do better than the stereotypical China Doll makeup, but I know that's not your usual style." This was in reference to a shoot I did a while back. (Yes, I model, but that's neither here nor there.) The theme of the shoot was "light fetish / pinup" and I was made up according to a reference picture of a retro pinup - plenty of blush, fake lashes, dark eyebrows, and red lipstick. So, think about that combination for a moment. They're not exactly typical "China doll" makeup things, not in my mind. When I hear "China doll", I personally think "porcelain skin, large eyes". So I had a look at the pictures, and I went, "huh. I guess I kinda do look China doll-like, especially from certain people's perspective." It's the red lips, I figured. The red lips and red cheeks are reminiscent of Chinese opera. My friend, the excellent Katherine o'Kelly , said that it had to do wi...

I was reading a blog post on white privilege and general suspicion towards white people's examination of privilege without actually acting upon it . I was about ready to say, "at least they're thinking about it. Give them a chance" except she went on to discuss the plain fact that part of privilege means being able to remove oneself from the non-privileged situation. For example, I can afford to live in a decent neighbourhood. Given the choice between a neighbourhood that has a high level of crime and a decent neighbourhood, I can choose to live in the latter neighbourhood. I can't run away from the fact that at the end of the day, I have this choice. I do what little I can to mitigate other people's lack thereof. I can, for a brief period of time, extend what I experience every day to someone less privileged. There's much more I can be doing, I'm sure, and I surely don't have the power to do it all, but I can share a little bit of privilege, even...

When I was in a car with my parents one day, and my mum was nagging me about getting a boyfriend, social networking so I could find one, so on so forth, and make sure it got done before I was "on the shelf," I pointed out that she'd never nagged my brother the same way. She said, "you're a girl. Things are different for girls." Now, mind you, this comes from a strong-minded woman who married and had kids in her late 20's/early 30's, and I thought, "so kuno ." (" Kuno " means "old-fashioned". Like, seriously old-fashioned. Like, previous civilization's old-fashioned.) It wasn't the first example of sexism in my life, and not the last. But when I think of how sexism manifested in my culture, I think of that moment. Malaysian women I've read in the papers have claimed that feminism isn't applicable to what goes on in our country. Because, of course, we all know that women are human in Malaysia. Except, of c...

I am back! Somewhat. Posting will be slightly less daily than before. And watch this space for the 3rd Asian Women Blog Carnival !!!

Yes, folks, this is the Acting Out Edition's 100th post ! Woo! *hands out party hats* I've decided to give blog-writing a rest for a bit. Ay-Leen and I will be co-authouring an essay on steampunk and I have a novel to write. However! The Acting Out Edition will bust back with the 3rd Asian Women Blog Carnival ! I am taking submissions until August 15 ! Do contribute, it will be great to hear voices from all corners of the Asian women diaspora. If you need to get a hold of me otherwise, you can: message me on MSN: catts_o_catti(@)hotmail.com e-mail me: jhameia.goh(@)gmail.com follow me on Twitter: jhameia check out my LJ (especially my Sunday Linkfests!) or MySpace or ModelMayhem . I can also be found on the Steampunk and She Writes Nings. So, see you in August, folks!

So, steampunk in its current form is Eurocentric. I've been reading a wonderful book called Unthinking Eurocentrism and while it deals with Eurocentrism within cinema and other such visual media, the same principles apply to steampunk: that the subculture revolves around a Western culture, holds it up as a model, and ignores everything else. I noticed this when I was speaking to a friend in England, and he said, "steampunk is Victorian, so it all starts here!" He meant well, but it wasn't what I was talking about: I was talking about steampunk manifestations in non-white contexts. I also recall a discussion on Madame Butterfly, in which I denounced it as being Orientalist, portraying the titular character as a helpless victim. The person I was talking to said, "Oh, but Pinkerton (the Western officer who marries and deserts Madame Butterfly) is painted as an absolute cad!" Not. The. Point. Was I talking about how white people are portrayed? No. I was talkin...

Recently, Queen Emily pointed out at Feministe how a new women-only pharmacy was excluding, well, women . Namely, transwomen. This is just another incident in a long pattern of ciswomen telling transwomen, "no, you're not really women, you're actually men, and we say so, no matter how you feel, because there are arbitrary rules you have to obey in order to be a woman, and you have to have obeyed them from birth and biology." Then there are some crazy so-called feminists who attack transwomen, saying, that transwomen are upholding patriarchal values by buying into the gender binary, are tearing down efforts to get rid of the gender binary by using the terms 'male' and 'female' as they like without paying attention to biology. And then there are just the plain ugly people who call transpersons "freaks" just because the latter group happen to dress in ways that they feel express their true gender which may not be consistent with how their gender...

So first off, I would like to admit that I have never so much as read Pride and Prejudice . I read Sense and Sensibility for my CPU program and that was enough Austen for me. I've heard Austen's books described as "battles of wits" and great critiques of her time. Secondly, I suppose I must point out once more that I don't come from that culture where middle-class and upper middle-class ladies sat around drinking tea, contriving to get their daughters married by attending balls and whatnot. Thirdly, I'm really not into that kind of thing. That period, for me as a woman, represents everything that is helpless for women about patriarchal culture. (Which is why I liked and hated the movie the Duchess . I just know what kind of period it's set in, and how since it's based on real events, things cannot be helped.) Fourthly, I don't like zombies. I don't like the horror genre much, and even parodies can disturb me - Shaun of the Dead gave me nightm...

My friend Tariq tried to show me this blog post at work and I didn't click it, because the latter part of the URL was "let-your-boyfriend-take-nekkid.html" or something similar and I knew what the gist of it was: some dewdly d00d telling wimmenz that they should let their boyfriends take naked pictures of them, because that is what good, sporting girlfriends do, dammit. Putting aside the notion that this usually ends up in ill hands, particularly spread around as a form of revenge or just for kicks by said boyfriends, and putting aside that this is only another exhortation from some male to women at large to further cater to male interests, and putting aside the fact that pornography already exists, I asked my friend, so, does he advocate the opposite as well? To which Tariq replied, with great regret on his side, I'm sure, for the iniquity of his sex, that no, said blogger is just generally blaming women. Although for what reasons, I cannot fathom! Nor did I bother c...

So in my Racialicious essay, I said something to the effect, "corsets looked uncomfortable, and being Asian, I'd look dumb wearing Western clothing." Which kind of made me do a trackback after a bit, because pretty much everything I wear is "Western". You know? T-shirts? Jeans? Blouses? Tank tops? Of course, I was talking about stuff like Victorian dresses. Imagining myself in one, I feel silly. Wrong look, wrong shape, wrong skin colour, wrong phenotype, wrong everything-with-my-appearance. But, well, look, it's been done before . This problem, of course, doesn't apply to aforementioned modern clothes. As part of the cultural assimilation process, we've all taken quite happily to T-Shirts and jeans (besides which, they're bloody practical). It's when I get to the frilly stuff, the more outre clothes, like that worn in the goth subculture, that I feel weird. I know the Japanese have taken to these kinds of clothing quite swimmingly, but I...

I wear makeup. Yeah, not often, and not much, but I do. I love makeup. I love how foundation evens out my skintone, and how eyeliner makes my eyes stand out. I love how lip colour, whether in lip liner (I use lip liner to fill out my lips sometimes) or in lipstick, fulls my lips. I spent a year looking for the right nude lip colour that matches my lips perfectly which still fills my lips, but looks completely natural. I love how blush and bronzer highlight my cheekbones - the first MUA (makeup artist) I ever worked with said to me, "you have nicely defined cheekbones. Makes it easy to work on you." I always get that warm glow remembering it. I put on makeup without fail for every modeling shoot, even nudes. I have specific foundation that is waterproof for landscape nudes, especially when mucking about in water. Now. Here's the thing. Painting my face this way is really just another way of making myself look as conventionally attractive as possible. It does play into com...

So this should totally be obvious. If I had to identify my brand of feminism, it would be sex-positive. Sex is, whenever I get it, pretty good. Not always great but not always bad. I have often found myself struck by how downplayed sexual desire is, especially if it is female. I understand why we would downplay male sexual desire - it's not exactly the sort of thing we want to hear about on the street. But Heather Corinna's idea about what "get lucky" should mean - two people desiring each other, wanting each other, wanting to get into the other's pants so much, when they finally get together into one big sweaty mess, it's.... Well. That would indeed be getting lucky. Certainly any feminist past their 101 would know the reasons for suppressing women's sexuality: by denying us our sexuality, it stops being our own, and it's for our husbands to do as they please, and besides, sexuality is evil and awful anyway, for... uh, no one could actually define why...

Is there any such thing as quintessentially Chinese clothes? I don't mean, like, special occasion costumes, just like, clothes, dailywear sort of thing. Think about it along these lines: Costumes are worn when we want to be something other than what we are. Clothing are just day-to-day wear. Both have elements of how we express ourselves. Both have their times and places. But one is clearly Other-izing, and the other not necessarily so. So, the samfu, the cheongsam, the, uh, strawhat with pointy top... these are not clothes . Are they? I was thinking about this because I recently bought a pretty yellow blouse with a definite Chinese air to it - the way the line goes above the chest, the design. It's definitely not a costume, though. It's just a blouse. Not something I would wear for everyday use (and I was considering steampunking it up, but then, back in those days, yellow was a royal colour, and I have no desire to create some royal persona to match), but wearing it woul...

Following up on a discussion I had with a friend on Sandip Roy's article on culture quoted at Racialicious , I've been wondering about the whole issue of individual representation of a cultural group, individual contexts, and where the line is drawn. As has been outlined, the problem with cultural appropriation isn't so much the problem that "white people" are wearing "our stuff". That's simplistic and problematic. Firstly, cultural borrowing happens all the time. Secondly, no one of us can speak on behalf of our entire cultures (which in themselves may be splintered). I note that many Asians who do not live in America don't seem to have all this cultural angst over appropriation, and it tends to be Asian-Americans who are particularly possessive of cultural artifacts. Either that, or it's Asian-Americans who are most vocal about it. I think one of the main issues we non-Americans should keep in mind is that Asian-Americans have a hard tim...

So, this book, which came out earlier this year, is revolutionary . It is chock-ful of discussions, stuff to agree with, stuff to disagree with - this book is thoughtful . There is so much going on in here: discussions centered around young women, around immigrant women, around minority women, around transwomen. Discussions about legislations, about how larger narratives hurt women personally, about how women deal with their crises and the obstacles between them and owning their sexuality. There were 27 essays, all about women on some level. Three directly, clearly addressing men and men's role in turning around the sexual narratives we currently have for a true sexual revolution. Some quick thoughts about each: Essay #1 by Jill Filipovic of Feministe : This is a great introduction to the general ills which face women today, whether consciously or not. I find it to be quite North America specific at some points, but there are definitely carry-overs to other cultures and countries ...